A New Medium
It's been almost 30 days since the start of this project. I'm not so much trying to figure out why I'm doing this, or how to go about doing it, I'm just doing. I'd intended this to be a means of getting exercise, conditioning my body, and as a means to sharpen my photography skills. It's becoming so much more to me though. I can honestly say the most critical aspect, how this effects my family, has made this the most important goal for me. I've done so many year long training exercises using photography as a medium.
In 2003, using my old Pbase site, I did a full year of taking photos every single day. It's how I learned to use a dSLR. It was when I first recognized that I'd found my personal medium. I fell in love with having something I knew I'd always be learning more about with an unending variation of shooting styles, subject matter, and technical exploration. Only now I have something even more complicated on my agenda as part of this new exercise.
I'm finding that just by "doing" these daily hikes I've found a new medium for me to explore. This time it's more personal. It too has eternal variations of methods, with infinite possible outcomes. And as for "technical," that's out the window. There are no guides or tutorials to follow. It's how I must conduct myself as a husband and a father.
As I move about the park, camera in hand, I can't help but feel very content. As a matter of fact, the sudden onset of this feeling has made me notice the lack of this feeling recently. I'm finally feeling at ease, and at home here in our new home. It's been two years, but they've been unusual, and my attempts at making myself "at home" here haven't been smooth.
It's not been about making friends, or finding things to do, those are easy. It's not about the house, or completing tasks, of which I am very slow (just ask my wife, only not when I'm around). I'm now realizing it was because back home I always had "the land" to fall back into. I knew where to go to find that sense of "this is home soil," a place where I felt tied to the very bedrock. Certain, somewhat hidden away spots that I'd frequent and find my "center." Every time I'd come back from such an excursion Teri would notice how happy I seemed for a long period.
For the first time since we've moved here I've begun to feel that way about the park. It's not an overnight thing, but it has potential. As I move along the trails, learning the land, and watching the denizens, my sense of "centering" is returning. My sense for how I conduct myself, and treat my family is also changing for the better. The camera is loosing its importance as part of the walks.
Things have truly been a lot nicer the past few weeks. We're all spending more time together as a family. While we've always tried to do things, it seems like the frequency has increased recently. The best has been when we go to the park, sometimes trying to find the "Wook O' Lar," sometimes just trying to get a peek at napping turtles. It seems we're all growing even closer to each other.
I can't stop now.